Eating My Feelings: Rotary Sushi

When I was in my early/mid-twenties, I dated a pile of hot garbage. I mean an absolute dumpster fire of a man who was simultaneously cocky and wildly insecure. You know the type, and if you don't, uh oh... *slowly lifts mirror to reader*. The one positive that I'm able to salvage from the ashes is that he negged me into trying new foods, which I desperately needed having grown up in a meat & potatoes midwest household (I am still VERY much into meat & potatoes, FYI). Throughout the relationship, I fell in love with all types of cuisine I vowed I'd never try, like what you'll be reading about today: sushi. 

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Me at 22: Fish? Gross. Raw fish? Why.

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Me at 29: Gimme some of dat sweet sashimi.

My favorite, most accessible sushi restaurant in Chicago is Sushi+, or as most call it, Rotary Sushi.

SPOT: Sushi+ is located on Broadway in Lakeview, snuggled between a UFC gym and a defunct "specialty video" shop, which I'm pretty sure is a fancy name for porn store. It's incredibly easy to miss.

Photo Credit: Yelp

Photo Credit: Yelp

The decor inside is overwhelming. It's decorated to look like a busy Japanese intersection, and they truly commit to the bit. The walls are covered in a photo-realistic wallpaper of a non-descript panoramic view of a Japanese city block at night with blurred headlights and a city skyline glowing in the background. Overhead are fake stoplights, and the floor has painted lanes for human traffic. They've even gone so far as to add thick metal "guardrails" against the walls.

Photo Credit: Yelp

Photo Credit: Yelp

The piece de resistance is the rotary belt itself, meant to feel like lanes of stacked highway traffic. All of the booths and counter give access to this delicious roadway. It's nearly impossible to walk in here and not smile. Truly adorable.

NOTE: Not actual footage of Sushi+

NOTE: Not actual footage of Sushi+

VIBES: Everything about this place is clean and efficient. When you sit down, a server greets you and hands you a single-use hot towelette to wipe your hands, which of course, I love. The waitstaff is incredibly pleasant, which, why wouldn't they be? They have the best job there is: They bring you a towel and a drink, then don't have to come back until you're ready to close out. You want their attention? There's a button at every station that you can press to call them over: no constant check-ins, no getting caught with your mouth full, just uninterrupted fish time.

That being said, the place is always abuzz with activity. Your water glass is never empty. As soon as a table is vacated, it's cleared. I love it. It's like dinner and a show for someone who has OCD and loves to clean.

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GRUB: It's sushi! All kinds and manner of sushi. All of your favorite raw fish standbys like nigiri and California rolls are in constant rotation (literally) on the belt, but if you're feeling adventurous, they've got some weird shit available, too. Take for instance, the Unagi Cheese Maki, which features eel, cucumber, and avocado topped with American cheese and unagi sauce. American cheese. Why. There's also a Mexican sushi sandwich that always piques my interest, but I just can't get down with it. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to sushi. And most things, really.

I love a good escolar nigiri. Clean, fresh flavor. This place really gets it right. "Lauren, it's fish. It's literally just a chunk of fish on rice." Ok, but have you ever had a BAD piece of sushi? Only then will you learn to appreciate a GOOD piece of fish. This place is always incredibly fresh and not at all full of fish funk (Hey, what's up everybody, we're Fish Funk! Can we get a suggestion of anything at all?). And the rice? Delish. It's the perfect consistency and has hints of both sweet and sour. The perfect complement to dat fresh, fresh fish.

Photo Credit: Yelp

Photo Credit: Yelp

Also a big fan of the spicy salmon maki, a tasty Boston roll, a crunchy California roll, or any single ingredient rice roll. In case you were wondering. Oh, you weren't? WELL THEN JUST LEAVE.

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Not seeing anything you want on that adorable belt? THEN WHY'D YOU EVEN COME HERE, KRISTEN?! Jesus. Ok. Sorry. Listen, if you want something other than cold fish and rice, you can order any number of delicious items off of the iPad at your table. Ramen. Bento boxes. Elaborate rolls. Skewers. A whole metric crap-ton of food items. If you can't find SOMETHING you like at this restaurant, then you're AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER, KRISTEN. GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT BACK.

Feeling full but want something sweet? You could get some weird dessert full of bean paste (who decided this was a dessert), or you could get a piece of cheesecake. Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. At a rotary sushi restaurant. Snuggled up next to some scallops on the belt. It's absolutely hilarious to me. The best part? As if getting cheesecake at the rotary sushi restaurant wasn't enough? It's frozen. It's ALWAYS frozen. I sincerely believe that that's how they like it because it comes out ICE COLD. Ice crystals atop the dairy-filled dessert. If you do decide you want cheesecake, pull it off the belt right when you sit down and MAYBE it'll be halfway thawed by the time you're ready to eat it.

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Possibly my favorite part of this whole experience is paying. Each dish on the belt is served on a color-coded plate that correlates with a price. Really satisfies that need to make every dinner a math problem. Simple 6 piece maki rolls start at just $2.50, with prices increasing with complexity up to like $6.50 a plate. Most 2-piece plates of nigiri are $3.50, and they don't skimp on the cuts.

Photo Credit: Yelp Look at all that math.

Photo Credit: Yelp Look at all that math.

FUN SHIT: Anything you order off the menu is delivered to your table via tiny race car. It gives you tiny race car honks when it arrives and more tiny honks as it heads back to the kitchen. It's the most adorable way to get dead fish delivered that I've ever seen. Beep beep!

See the tiny race car in action here:

FEELINGS INGESTED: This place is for those times when you're coming out of a depressive episode that was triggered by god knows what and you're feeling social for the first time in two months and you want to eat a lot of something but don't want the pain and discomfort that comes from eating a whole pizza in front of another human being. Sushi is perfect for this quandary. As Mitch Hedberg once said, "Rice is great if you're really hungry, and you want to eat 2000 of something." In other words, this place is perfect for those times when you want to feel accomplished.

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OVERALL:  Man, that dude sucked. Hate that I let myself put up with that bullshit for so long, ya know? I feel like it really stunted my growth as a person–... oh, the restaurant. Right. If you want quality sushi with a fun atmosphere at a reasonable price, Sushi+ is a must-try.

Please note that I am in no way a qualified food critic. I'm picky and boring and really like cheeseburgers. Take my opinions with several grains of sea salt.

Eating My Feelings: Bavette's Bar & Boeuf

Listen. I’m no fancy boy. But every once in a while, I’m a fancy boy. For as much as I love burgers and fried chicken, I’m not above putting on a slightly fancier flannel and shelling out a little more for some highfalutin cuisine (cuisine is a fancy boy term for food stuffs, in case there are any non-fancy boys reading).

Also, just for the record, this place does have burgers and fried chicken on the menu. You can take the fancy out of the boy, but you can’t take the boy… somewhere… that’s fancy… because… she’ll be wearing sneakers.

Anyway. Bavette’s Bar & Boeuf.

Photo Cred: Bavette’s Website

Photo Cred: Bavette’s Website

SPOT: Bavette’s Bar & Boeuf is conveniently located across from the Merchandise Mart in River North. What I mean is that it’s convenient to basically no one, but I work in the Merchandise Mart, and this is MY blog, so what I say goes. If you weren’t looking for it, you could easily walk right past this gem. In fact, I have. Even when I’ve been looking for it. The sleek glass doors lead into a stark, modern breezeway where a hostess with ironic glasses looks up your reservation (assuming you thought ahead for once, Greg.) and then passes you off to another hostess who takes you through a heavy wooden door and into the dining room. Is it efficient? No. Is it fancy? Also no. But I’m sure there’s some reason they do it this way… maybe the hostess with the glasses is afraid of the dark.

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I mention the darkness because it can take up to three minutes for the average person’s eyes to adjust to the light (or complete lack of it) in the dining room. If I had to describe the decor of this restaurant in one word, I’d say “could-absolutely-be-the-set-of-a-mobster-movie.” Sinatra would love the place.* Ornate red couches and overstuffed accent chairs line the walls at the entrance act as a waiting area for the idiots who didn’t get a reservation. There are rounded booths and freestanding tables with glass chandeliers emitting soft, yellow light overhead. Lotta dark wood. Lotta candles and men wearing vests.

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Towards the back of the restaurant is a bar lined with expensive booze that’s backlit to provide a dreamy, multicolored haze. Behind this bar is the actual kitchen, bustling but rather quiet, almost as if they know what they’re doing back there.** There’s additional seating in the basement area which is more of the same but slightly quieter.

*I didn’t know Sinatra personally. This is an extrapolation based on other places I’ve heard that he liked. This was also not to imply that he was a mobster. Also not saying he’s not NOT a mobster. He had a lot going on.

**This reminds me of the time my college boyfriend and I were making spaghetti in his tiny apartment, and the ground beef got a little too brown and set off the smoke detector. I turned off the heat and took it off the burner, then calmly turned around to open the window, only to see he had taken the pot of noodles to the window. When I inquired as to why he had done such a strange thing, he said: “they were smoking!”. My boyfriend didn’t know the difference between steam and smoke. He was 24 years old. Hope you’re doing ok, bud.

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VIBES: This is my kind of fancy place. Upscale, but not snooty about it. The staff–with the exception of the hostess lady–are laid-back and professional. Attentive, but not annoying. I can imagine this place being great for pretty much any occasion. I’ve brought local friends, friends from out of town, and even my dad (hey, dad!) to this place and it has consistently received high marks. Can’t vouch for its effectiveness as a date spot since I’m going to die alone, but I imagine it’d be a great spot to have forced conversation or sit in comfortable silence with your husband of 35 years.

GRUB: Look. I haven’t had a bad thing here. All of the things are delicious. First, we’ll start with the most obvious. Steak.

For those of you who didn’t take two years of high school French, boeuf means beef. Bavette’s is known for their fine meats and, as my dad would call them, “slimy ocean critters”, which are oysters, shrimp, or any other gross thing that comes from a body of water that isn’t fish. I happen to be allergic to the said creatures (allegedly), but I can put away some steak.

My preferred cut is a filet since I despise the texture of fat on both my steaks and the outside of my thighs. The 6-ounce filet comes cooked to your liking with a roasted tomato and some of those weird watercress things that I’ve never understood. Also béarnaise. The meat is perfectly cooked and unbelievably tender, much like the outside of my thighs.

Photo Cred: Dining Chicago

Photo Cred: Dining Chicago

If you’re not feeling beef for whatever stupid reason, might I recommend either the roasted or fried chicken. They’re both juicy and insanely flavorful. The fried chicken is served on a bed of mashed potatoes (we’ll get to these later) and comes with an adorable boat of gravy that only adds more flavor and fanciness to the dish.

Photo Cred: Bavette’s Website

Photo Cred: Bavette’s Website

Whatever entree you choose, be prepared for a gigantic portion size. Not the steaks, obviously… 6oz. is 6oz., but you could easily get away with splitting a main and getting a couple of sides.

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The sides at Bavette’s steal the show. Any person who’s known me for more than 12 minutes could guess that my favorites are the mashed potatoes and the mac and cheese.

Appropriately listed as “buttery mashed potatoes,” these spuds aren’t fucking around. My best guess at the recipe is 50% butter, 30% garlic, 20% cream, 10% potato. They’re topped with roasted garlic and just a little bit of jus. I wouldn’t normally use the word decadent since I’m not a fancy boy, but these puppies are decadent. Maybe referring to potatoes as ‘puppies’ cancels out the fanciness of decadent. Perfect.

I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty well-versed in mac and cheese. Lactose intolerance and gluten sensitivity be damned; nothing will stop me from putting those cheesy noods directly into my mouth hole. The mac and cheese at Bavette’s is truly unique. First, it’s got truffle in it, which I’m normally not into. Truffle is added to a lot of perfectly good foods for no reason, but in this instance, it works. The unique, earthy flavor of the truffle perfectly complements the white cheddar base of the sauce. The sauce perfectly coats the cavatappi noodles (which I learned by googling “curly pasta”) and even provides the beloved cheese pull as you dig in. The top is lightly broiled and topped with chives, which everyone knows are useless, but I get it.

“Lauren’s not stupid enough to talk about a starter after she spent 45 minutes talking about mains, right? She’s not THAT unorganized and un-fancy, right?” WRONG.

Goat cheese dip. It has all the things I love in one perfectly executed dish. House-made red sauce with a generous dollop of aged goat cheese in the middle, baked and served with thick-cut garlic bread. I have dreams about this stuff. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve sat at the bar after work and eaten just this dip and the loaf of bread it comes with by myself after a long day of contemplating my existence and pondering whether I’m depressed because of societal pressures to do and have and be more or simply because it be like that sometimes, which it absolutely do be like that sometimes. It’s basically like eating a super fancy pizza that you put together yourself.

Photo Cred: Trip Advisor GOD, JUST LOOK AT IT.

Photo Cred: Trip Advisor GOD, JUST LOOK AT IT.

After you’ve had your fill of savory, get your sweet fix with the chocolate cream pie. Jesus god. Rich, chocolate ganache in a slightly smokey chocolate cookie crust with the most beautifully smooth scoop of fresh whipped cream and topped with dark chocolate shavings. I’m not normally a whipped cream person, but this stuff is like the perfect soft dairy cloud that cuts the richness of the chocolate. It’s just… it’s almost unfair how good it is.

Photo Cred: The Googs Look at that stupid, delicious egg of whipped cream.

Photo Cred: The Googs Look at that stupid, delicious egg of whipped cream.

FUN SHIT: There’s another Bavette’s in Vegas, in the event that you find yourself in the black and wanna treat yourself to some fancy, delicious snacks.

FEELINGS INGESTED: This is where I eat all my expensive feelings, like when I’m worrying about about diversifying my portfolio or the ever-decreasing value of my Porsche***. If you’re a fancy boy like me, this would be a great place to have a “cheap” meal. If you’re a middle class slob with dreams of not going broke after one hospital visit then this place is a great treat.

***I had to look up how to spell Porsche. I’m not cut out for this life.

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OVERALL: I’m gonna be honest with you. Bavette’s is my favorite restaurant in the city so far. There, I said it. Between the service, the food and the fanciness, it’s a must-visit for the sad, the happy and anyone who’s excited by delicious food.

Please note that I am in no way a qualified food critic. I'm picky and boring and really like cheeseburgers. Take my opinions with several grains of sea salt.

Eating My Feelings: Honey Butter Fried Chicken

Fried chicken. One of my favorite flavors of feelings. I'm always on the hunt for crispy skin and juicy meat (quote pulled from Jeffrey Dahmer's Tinder profile) as well as delicious, non-vegan, full fat, clog-my-arteries-style delicious Southern flavors. Honey Butter Fried Chicken is where I go to quench my Meat Thirst™. 

Photo Credit: Internetz

Photo Credit: Internetz

SPOT: HBFC is in Avondale which is between Roscoe Village and the northern-most part of the Logan area. Translation: near absolutely nothing. There is however a shopping center with a Target and a Mariano's right across the street in case you'd like to take your chicken to go and ugly cry in your SUV while a teenager corrals carts (Sorry, kid. Sometimes mama gets sad about nothing and everything all at once and needs to shove her face full of fried food in the parking lot. You'll understand when you're older.).

Photo Credit: A Goog search with 4 typos

Photo Credit: A Goog search with 4 typos

If you're feeling a little more optimistic than that and you aren't actively sobbing, they'll let you stay in the restaurant! The room is rather small and has enough seating for ~30 people if I had to guess. The layout isn't great: it’s super angular and cramped. You order at the counter and then sit, so the line can easily spill into the seating area. It's ‘cozy’ during peak hours.**

**UPDATE: They recently rearranged the front room so it’s slightly more streamlined and comfortable. I’d like to think they read this review and changed EVERYTHING. You’re welcome, guys.

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It's sparsely decorated, which I always love in a restaurant. I love a place that doesn't need to drown the walls in flair to distract from how bland the food is. I don't need vanity license plates or framed black and white photos of sports teams to make me enjoy this chicken.

There's also a fenced-in back patio that's about the same size as the indoor dining area that would be perfect on a cool summer night.

VIBES: After having written a few of these posts, it's become clear to me that I like places in which the staff feel completely neutral about the customers' existence. It's a transaction: I tell you what items I would like to acquire with my American dollars, you tell me how many dollars are required, and then I'll eat said items. I don't need you to compliment my shirt or ask about my day, I'm here to eat with my hands, and I'd love to have as little human interaction as possible. I can see how this wouldn't be everyone's cup of gin, but it's mine for sure.

GRUB: Listen. This chicken is delicious. It's easy. It's agreeable. It's that person who shows up to the party after you were sure they weren't gonna show, and they brought pizza. The exterior is crispy and flavorful, and the meat is juicy and delicious. You can go the traditional legs and thighs way, but if you're looking to eat those feelings without a choking hazard, might I recommend the tenders. The chicken comes with your choice of sauce, of which I've tried the signature honey butter and BBQ sauce. The honey butter is sweet and rich. The BBQ sauce tastes like a mix of Bullseye and Sweet Baby Ray's, and I’m not at all mad at that.

Photo Credit: My shitty iPhone

Photo Credit: My shitty iPhone

While the chicken is delicious, what I really find myself craving is the sides. The schmaltz smashed potatoes are just lumpy enough with just enough skin and the chicken gravy is just... it's so good. A quality potato dish (as stated on my dating profile). The biscuits are like a hybrid of cornbread and biscuit, both dense AND fluffy with a sweet, earthy flavor. Wow, I hate myself for writing that. They're just biscuits, ok? Don't be weird about it.

Then there's the mac & cheese. First of all, let me start by saying that pimento cheese freaks me out. I've avoided it for most of my adult life because that's what I do with things that scare me. But this pimento mac & cheese... I have dreams about it. I miss it when it's gone. It's as orange as Snooki from season 1 of Jersey Shore. The fusilli noodle is the perfect vehicle for the creamy, sharp mix of pimento and Wisconsin cheddar, ensuring that each bite is packed full of flavor. And every mac & cheese should be topped with breadcrumbs. The touch of crunch makes me forget about the time I fell down the stairs the Clark and Lake redline stop and two homeless guys had to help me up because my ankle got caught under a stair. But only for a moment.

FUN SHIT: They have only fancy sodas at the fountain station. Artisanal sodas for the fancy boy you are. Also, Honey Butter sources as many ingredients as possible locally. Their chicken is antibiotic-free and organic sourced from an Amish farm in Indiana. I can't help but imagine the chickens in wide-brimmed hats and long beards. Also, they have brunch!

FEELINGS INGESTED: Again, I'd like to apologize to who I'll call Luke who was just trying to pull carts from the lot before he got off of his 6-hour shift at the shittiest Mariano's in the city. I didn't mean to frighten you, but sometimes a lady needs to blast Adele and eat macaroni in her SUV. 

Jk, I'd never eat a salad.

Jk, I'd never eat a salad.

OVERALL: If you're looking for quality fried chicken, classic Southern sides with a twist and indifferent waitstaff, I highly recommend Honey Butter Fried Chicken. #MeatThirstQuenched

Please note that I am in no way a qualified food critic. I'm picky and boring and really like cheeseburgers. Take my opinions with several grains of sea salt.